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sextspert:

superwholock-at-hogwarts:

chevvybar:

hiddlestalker:

lifehackable:

More Life Hacks Here

Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate you
Day 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbag
Month 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRR
Month 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? Please
Month 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.
Year 1: One down. 17 to go…
Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…
Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEART
Year 3: Oh thank god that’s over
Year 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shit
Year 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS

Year 15: You called me a fuckwit. What the fuck is a fuckwit?

year 16; oh god no LIGHTLY step on the gas NO NON NO NO YOU DONT HAVE TO PRESS THAT HARD ON THE BREAK!!!

year 17: I caught you masturbating but you didn’t notice so I didn’t say anything. You’re welcome.

karkatsaysfuck:

etceteraface:

rycbar123-4:

So it’s my birthday and I’m opening gifts. I open the wrapped box from my uncle.

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I open the box, and find a $50 gift card, yes? But wait, there’s Styrofoam. There’s more.

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Then I remove the Styrofoam…

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The fuck?

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A FUCKING LEGLESS LEGO LEGOLAS

mY UNCLE GOT ME A LEGLESS LEGO LEGOLAS

bEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER

he then later gave me the legs.image

LEGO LEGOLAS’ LEGO LEGS

Are you Luna Lovegood

Loony Luna Lovegood Lavishly Loving LEGO Legolas’s LEGO Legs

(Source: faeryofficial)

violasarecool:

misfitreindeer:

what if people’s hair changed color based on their emotions

like one day you’re out getting a cup of coffee and you notice some cutie in the back of the coffeeshop and your hair starts turning bright pink and you do you best to try to hide it but you can’t help but look over and

they’re just sitting there, staring at you, their face as flushed as their locks

yall-mothafuckas-need-misha:

badassbitchfromhades:

freckledtrekkie:

doctorsherlocklokison:

captainmjolnir:

I’ve never understood the stereotype that women are more likely to faint at blood

I mean seriously

what do you think we do every month

THEY WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THE WEREWOLF THING

AWH COME ON GUYS THAT WAS A SECRET FOR A REASON

I guess we have to come clean about the cult sacrafices too huh

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Well now we do

(Source: gameofbooze)

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